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Will you?/Not? / Saturday, March 17, 2012 @ 6:00 AM
This is a question I'm sure many of you guys in a relationship have faced! I'm not saying that it happened to me per se, but I'm sure many of you readers will be able to relate.

The scenario:
Imagine you're a guy (if you're not one) & you're with your girlfriend & 2 relatively high-on-alcohol guy friends.

The 2 guy friends kept telling your girlfriend to shut up, & to make matters worse, your girlfriend told them off as well & they started a whole "you shut up frenzy."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, one of your guy friends... Let's name him A?... A says to you "Tell your girlfriend to shut up. We know you LONGER than she knows you, & yada yada yada."

Your girlfriend just keeps quiet as the other guy... Guy B... Joins in & starts on the whole bros over hos talk.

Now, you being the boyfriend, not taking sides & taking into consideration that both your friends were (perhaps?) drunk talking, would you

1) Tell your "bros" IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND that you're on her side
2) Agree with your "bros" & then tell your girlfriend when you & your girlfriend are alone then you were just saying that to appease whatever dragon or Phoenix they had
3) Agree with your "bros" wholeheartedly

Of course, there's no right & wrong answer to this, & no, honest to God, this didn't happen to me.

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Based on my personal relationship with Bren, let me tell you guys what I think.

His friends knew him when they were in Secondary school, which means like 9 years perhaps?
I have been in a relationship with Bren for coming 1 year & 10 months.

His friends have seen the phases on girlfriends he had, has (which is me) & all the other in betweens.
I have only heard about it, snippets here & there, but have never been there for him through any heartbreaks.

His friends have seen him through laughter, tears, & all the other experiences he has went through.
The only experiences I have been through with Bren was during that 22 months we were together.

But, let me tell you this guys.

Boyfriends, (& girlfriends), you guys can compare, do a pros & cons list & whatever. In terms of experience, & years of memories, the friends will always win.

Don't they ALWAYS say, your partner will always be there for you, but when they leave, your friends are TRULY the ones who'd be there?

I've heard this so many times, & honestly, I'm so sick of this line.

I agree, though, that your friends will be there through the heartbreak. But other than that episode, who's TRULY gonna be there?

Okay, taking my relationship into context.

I spend everyday I have with Bren. After school? His place. Weekends? His place. & don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I love being around my Boyfriend, even if it's doing something as meaningless as watching him play poker online.

Given that I spend close to 24/7 with him, in that 22 months... I can safely say that I've been there for him, like how he has been there for me.

I listen to him rant about work, while I tell him about my day at Uni.
I try to nurse him back to health whenever he falls ill while he carries me to bed when I feel unwell.
We talk everyday, even if it's just about random nothings.
He helps me with my problems while I try to help him with his.

This is just a handful of a list in my mind.

In those 22 months, I've always, & I really do mean ALWAYS been there.

22 months of love, care, concern, trust & honesty occurring on a DAILY basis is something which no amount of experiences could replace. We are making new memories on a daily basis, while his friends & his outings changed to a fortnight occurrence.

How, then, can you compare?

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Yes, friends are important. They are always there for you whenever you need them, single or not.

But honestly, which friend, guys, would give you TLC when you're ill? Will take into consideration your likes & dislikes, & will give you (cliche as this might sound) unconditional love?

I can't even think of any one of either bren's / my friend doing what I've mentioned above.

Of course, you readers might argue, that that's romantic love. Friendship love is different. It's like, I'm there when you need me sorta thing. But thing is, your girlfriend will always be there whenever you need her as well.

My priorities are really straightforward & obvious.

Yes, I do place Bren on a higher priority than any one of my friends.

Why?

Because we have been through so much together, & he has been there for me SO DAMN much at the times I've needed him the most that I need him more than my friends in my life. Simple as that.

Of course, I do love my friends, Stacey, Vienna, Lynette. And I love that they understand whatever I just said, & they get it. I mean, friends like these are priceless.

Boys, on the other hand, will ask you to make a choice & say something fucked up like "I'm your brother, I know you how long, you know her how long?" and all that CRAP.

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It doesn't matter how long you know someone. It's if you've been a CONSTANT in that person's life. Not just a touch & go "bro."

I think that the time when you really know that you're in deep trouble in a relationship, is when you put your partner above your friends. That's a tell-tale sign for me, but hey, I could be wrong, I'm just rambling here. It's just my personal beliefs.

So yes no to bros over hos? :)

x